Post Content

Funky Winkerbean, 4/20/20

Oh, look, we’re back at what is somehow my least favorite Funky Winkerbean storyline: Les agreed to have his sad comic book about his dead wife, Lisa, turned into a movie, again, which is a potentially lucrative arrangement for him, except for whatever reason he loathes the idea but instead of just saying no he’s decided to be as sullen a dick about it as humanly possible. Anyway, maybe I’m prejudiced as a cheerful Angeleno convert, but I find it extremely funny that Les has chosen a picture of palm trees for Mason’s profile pic on his phone, which most people usually find to be symbolic of the great weather and fun lifestyle out here, but to Les it clearly indicates that he’s about to get a call that he’s going to hate.

Slylock Fox, 4/20/20

You know, if you wanted to make a point that the purpose of police isn’t to stop crime or even serve the general public but is rather to protect the property interests of the wealthy and politically powerful, I would say that doing a cartoon where the Animal Kingdom’s chief investigator was put to work just finding the monarch’s lost jewelry would be a little on the nose, honestly.

The Lockhorns, 4/20/20

“You can’t see it because everything below your waist is just an inky, undifferentiated black shadow without texture or even a third dimension. Honestly, for years I thought you were wearing ballet tights.”

Post Content

Panels from Crankshaft, 4/19/20

“I’m that bus driver with the awful accident record they keep doing the I-team reports about. I’ve killed dozens of children! I’m widely loathed!”

Panel from Slylock Fox, 4/19/20

Hey, Slylock, I’m pretty sure you’ve never pushed an egg through your cloaca but if you did and you knew there was a place where they were giving out the good painkillers, you’d probably want to be there too, you know?

Mark Trail 4/19/20

“OH SAY KIDS DID YOU EVER WANT TO HURT OR KILL SOMEONE … WITH A PLANT? HERE’S A BUNCH OF PLANTS THAT ARE POISONOUS! I’M NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD, I’M JUST SAYING … HERE THEY ARE”

Post Content

Panel from Slylock Fox, 2/16/20

Wow, this is, uh, a little low-rent for Slylock and Max, isn’t it? Usually they’re off making arrests and solving mysteries to uphold the dignity of, and the monopoly on legitimate violence claimed by, the Glorious Animal Regime and its monarchy. But today they’re serving as chauffeurs for a bounty hunter, a sordid figure straddling the boundaries between public and private justice, and learning the finer points of how to sneak up on someone so you can drag them screaming from an abandoned house as part of some no-doubt extremely grim and depressing feud. Anyway, it looks like despite everyone’s best precautions, Slick Smitty has managed to escape, leaving behing poor Reeky Rat to take the fall, as usual.

Mary Worth, 2/16/20

Dawn is, of course, a perpetual romantic victim — two-timed by Dr. Jeff’s son, left near-comatose after being dumped by some guy named Dave, wooed by married men — and so I think we all assumed that when her long-distance relationship dissolved in acrimony and deceit, exactly as Wilbur predicted, it would be because Hugo was stepping out. But now it appears that Dawn is the one feeling “restless” and “alone.” Who knows what erotic temptations will await her at Tony’s? As much as I’m tired of Weston-related drama, I have to admit that I’m kind of interested to see Dawn dish out heartbreak instead of suffering from it.