Post Content

The week’s top comment: here it is!

“Looking forward to Spidey’s beatdown from a guy whose superpower is never to end a sentence with a preposition.” –matt w

The hilarious runners up: here they are!

“Three kids eat a bunch of cookies and they’re charged with a criminal offense. Slylock haphazardly parks his car at an angle so it not only blocks the driveway but is halfway out in the street and he’s rewarded with a hot steaming mug.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Wow. Society has collapsed. The gatekeepers of capitalism are long dead. And yet, our heroine still refers to her daily hunting expeditions as ‘shopping.’ Now that’s what I call internalizing Western values.” –Joe Blevins

‘Body language or something — they haven’t quite pinpointed it yet.’ He’s BALD, okay? Just say it! Jeez, do we have to be so ‘politically correct’ that we pussyfoot around the obvious?” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Someone’s been experimenting with the ‘frowny face’ character template. I wouldn’t mind if we pull back the camera just a bit, thanks.” –Rusty

“I think it was pretty optimistic of the young hipsterbilly to expect sushi for sale in what is clearly some sort of artisanal log store.” –Truckosaurus

“It’s good to see that even Hootin’ Holler is part of the growing farm-to-table local food trend. Snuffy brings the big sushi-grade catfish fresh from stream to market every morning right after he fucks them to death.” –Mikey

“Poorly! Turns out most people use ‘pancake’ these days, and the term ‘hotcake’ just confuses them. Still, good for setting up crusty jokes. Speaking of which, have I told you about our upcoming ‘Salad Days?’” –pugfuggly

“Trixie, you’re not going to grow faster just because you shit your pants in the second panel. Fertilizer only works on plants.” –nescio

“His newest nemesis: THE DIPSTICK” –Dennis Jimenez

“The bucket appears to read ‘Ace Drywall Compound,’ which could mean he’s a builder, but I’m betting it just means he stole it from a construction site. –Pozzo

This is the most disappointing Mary Worth I’ve read in a long time, mostly because I was invested in Esmé somehow forcing her and Derek to miss the boat and keeping him captive on the island to be her lover, like Calypso. I don’t think that problem could’ve been solved by meddling, though, which means we have been robbed of seeing Mary don a beret and fatigues and leading an invasion of Haiti. Thanks for nothing.” –Drew Funk

“Are you sure those are Chip’s nips and not his eyes? After all, we’ve never seen those, either.” –Charles Nelson,Really!

“Is that smug face as she brags about High School Band trophies ironic? It has to be ironic, right? Otherwise, this would be the saddest town in the history of the– oh, right. Carry on, band booster lady.” –Dread

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon! And as ever, we must give thanks to our advertisers:

  • Two Party Opera: A daily comic that features the Presidents of the United States as they live on the stage of history with the day-to-day news of political mudslinging.
  • Oh hey, and don’t forget, I wrote a book! You can get it in hardcover, paperback or ebook forms. It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy.

If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get a text shoutout in these posts, get the details on my BuySellAds page.

About this Post

Comments are closed.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 5/12/17

So in addition to being a shitty husband, Derek is a terrible boss as well! “Hey, Sandy, Denise, thanks for holding down the fort here at the office while I took a three-week vacation to ‘reconnect’ with the wife or whatever. You do not want to hear about how that went, ha ha! Anyway, I saw this extremely generic teal hat in a fenced-off vacation compound in Haiti and thought of you guys. Uh, I only bought one, so, I guess you can share it?”

Meanwhile, Katie is exploring the Mystery Of The Propped-Open Bathroom Door! THEORIES: Either it’s a trap laid by her romantic rival, Entertainer Esmé, who’s lying in wait in there with a knife, or the plumbing’s backed up and the toilets smell very, very bad.

Funky Winkerbean, 5/12/17

As you all know, I normally choose to think as little as possible about the decade-wide Funkyverse chrono-disconnect between Crankshaft and Funky Winkerbean, but I have to admit that I’m intrigued by Becky’s passing reference to “tear[ing] down the old bus garage” mere days in real time (and ten years in Funkyverse time) after the Crankshaft gang ruminated over the possibility that they’d be replaced by robots. I certainly hope they did get replaced by robots, and that moreover Crankshaft’s pension was docked so the school district could afford to buy the lubricant the robots need to function at peak efficiency.

Hi and Lois, 5/12/17

Peter Parker? No nipples. Dagwood Bumstead and Mark Trail? No nipples. Congratulations to Chip Flagston, the daily comics’ first benipplèd man!

Post Content

Pluggers, 5/11/17

I kind of admit I’m not … entirely sure what’s going on here? Like, it doesn’t matter whether you like iced tea or lemonade (THE ONLY TWO ACCEPTABLE DRINKS, and don’t try mixing them together to form the abomination that is an “Arnold Palmer”), and it doesn’t matter if you’re fundamentally an optimist or a pessimist if you’ve got … friends? I approve of friendship, of course, but I don’t understand why it needs all these false binaries as a setup. I also am a little unsettled by the anxiety behind the “just happy to have a glass.” Maybe this is why the plugger dog-man is sitting on an overturned bucket instead of a chair, because he had to sell all his chairs, and he only has his bucket and two glasses left. Remember, Pluggerville’s pawn shop is the most depressing place on earth!

Dick Tracy, 5/11/17

So it turns out the Margies’ CosplayCon scam involved a fake robbery to grab the cash prize for best costume, yawn. Anyway, with that out of the way, they’ve really kicked it up a notch for their next crime: digging up the corpses of prominent comics artists and reanimating them, using forbidden science! It’s a little on the nose for new-look Dick Tracy, but I’m on board.

Spider-Man, 5/11/12

Say, were you wondering how this week’s super-powered combat played out??? ANSWER: a guy hit another guy in the shin with “some kinda stick” and then ran away. THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN!!!