“Okay, it’s Bill Clinton who calls the head of ICE — in this current political environment — and saves the day. Surely that’s the most unbelievable plot point… [reads today’s strip] ‘Montoni’s Pizza is great pizza.’ Nope, wrong again.” –Little Guy
“Damn, Funky is one cold-hearted businessman. Initially upset to see the goons who tried deporting his friend, his mood brightens the instant he hears they want to place an order.” –Bill L
“I was kind of hoping than the jazz fest was being held on the other side of the fence and Stokes would end up impaled on a clarinet.” –Guillermo el chiclero
“I assume the reason why Rex never cut his own hair is he has the same shiny, impermeable hair helmet as a lego minifig, and it’s pretty hard to style those. He did once try on the ponytail hair with the blue and purple streaks, though, when he was feeling adventurous.” –Rita Lake
“It doesn’t bother anybody else that Dapper Dude’s car is at least somewhat sentient??! Those are stars of pain… STARS OF PAIN, PEOPLE!” –Janis and company
“There ain’t no parts ’round these parts. Not fer machines an’ not fer the sick folk who jus’ need a new liver. What did you say yer blood type was, again?” –Lionheart
“It depends, Billy. How much do you love Big Brother?” –Rita Lake
“Deus ex Crown Victoria” –Big Ted
“Tell it to the hand that’s about to touch everyone’s groceries, attached to the person who felt sick last night.” –A Concerned Reader
“He went from suffering ill consequences due to drug dealing, to suffering ill consequences due to drug use, to suffering ill consequences without even enjoying money or drugs! Truly Tommy’s journey is a blessing — for us, not him.” –Ettorre
“It’s LSD 0: the only all-purpose cleaner on the market that guarantees that there is absolutely no LSD in their product. Why aren’t those other cleaners making that claim, huh? Makes you think.” –pugfuggly
“I have discovered puns, mother. The next thirty years of me living under your roof is going to be a living hell, mother. Crayoffs. CRAYOFFS, MOTHER!” –Tabby Lavalamp
“So Dennis is mature enough to understand and engage in fairly sophisticated wordplay, but not mature enough to stop literally writing on the walls? He’s not just a menace, he’s a menace savant!” –Ringo Beaumont III
“There’s no candy but Dagwood brought a pumpkin bucket, presumably because the party might drag on and he might need to relieve himself at some point.” –nescio
“Annie? There’s something you want to tell me, I can see it in your horrible empty white sockets. I mean, your eyes. I can see it in your eyes. Those are eyes. I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget.” –made of wince
“Did not expect this from a strip I mostly associate with ‘eaten alive by rats,’ but Dick Tracy aced the Bechdel Test today: three (3) women characters, with names, talking about something other than a man. Okay, the ‘vampire killer’ did turn out to be a man, but it’s the Brown sisters who are mentioned by name — and the Professor was perhaps more machine than man anyway, although this argument bodes ill for people with dentures.” –Skedastic
“There’s a whole vampire plot, Brenda Starr constantly sparkles in direct sunlight for some reason … can a Dick Tracy/Twilight crossover be far behind? Imagine the look on Dick’s face as the premise is explained to him, right before he opens fire.” –Dan
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