Archive: Lockhorns

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Dick Tracy, 11/12/25

New Dick Tracy storyline, everybody! This one involves (a) a guy named “Rojo Ozob,” and (b) a sheriff who accidentally drove over a cliff. OR WAS IT AN ACCIDENT? Well, Dick Tracy seems to think so, based on this news story he’s looking at on his phone (?). Honestly, Dick is a big city cop, he doesn’t have time to worry about sheriffs out in the sticks, where there are cliffs everywhere you can just drive off of, like there aren’t even any proper guardrails. Get your shit together, country folk, Dick has got urban crimes to keep track of.

The Lockhorns, 11/12/25

Ah, an extremely rare Lockhorns where both Leroy and Loretta are smiling! Truly the one thing that brings these two together is some petty gripe about the world that they express through an elaborate act-out.

Alice, 11/12/25

Yeah, Alice, don’t lie to the kid! When you turn off the TV the people inside die. They die and their souls are immediately transported to hell. The only way to save them from eternal torment is by always watching your favorite shows!

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Pluggers, 10/31/25

Sorry, I don’t think you should be exclaiming “What have you done?” to a guy in a toga unless he just banded together with other patriots to stab his longtime friend and political ally to death to preserve the constitutional order of the Roman Republic. I guess he really should be covered in blood to make this work but I stand by it.

Family Circus, 10/31/25

Why is Big Daddy Keane attempting to hide behind a tree like this? It’s not because his kids are embarrassed to be seen with him, as they’re gleefully pointing him out to this poor woman uninterested in their family psychodrama. If he’s embarrassed to be seen with them then I get it, but he’s doing such a bad job of hiding that I have to say that he’s no prize either.

The Lockhorns, 10/31/25

Leroy and Loretta hate each other with such intensity that it’s easy to miss that they’re not real big fans of anyone else either. Have you ever aggressively worn a Halloween costume at a specific person? Leroy has, and that’s what makes him great.

Mary Worth, 10/31/25

Oh, you went into solution-search mode, Mary? Because it sounds like the solution was quickly found by Olive, thanks to her telepathic gifts. You didn’t do shit!

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The Lockhorns, 10/24/25

Loretta has, presumably, been jogging for some time with her friend acquaintance who we are definitely never going to see again, and is only now passing by her husband, who has been sitting on that bench staring contemplatively into space for who knows how long. Because absolutely nothing the Lockhorns do is left to chance, especially when it comes to attempting to passive-aggressively destroy one another emotionally, we must assume that she carefully planned both her route and her conversational cadence so that this little bon mot would drop just as she was getting close enough for Leroy to hear it.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/24/25

I’m a normal person, so I do almost all my shopping either online or in a store, but some people do it over the phone, I guess? Maybe they’re all old and increasingly senile and the person on the other end has to say “Shopping…” every once in a while, just to remind them what they’re doing.

Pluggers, 10/24/25

Gah, pathetic, there’s no joke or wordplay or anything here, it’s literally just “Pluggers continue to engage in a traditional cultural/aesthetic practice, unlike most people, who have abandoned it or never knew about it in the first place.” They didn’t even put a plugger in the cartoon! I’d like to think they all refused to participate in such a half-assed non-gag.

Crankshaft, 10/24/25

I love how depressed this guy looks in the final panel. He doesn’t want to say this shit any more than you want to listen to it!