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Heathcliff, 5/5/26

The oldest references to cherubim in the bible seem to imagine them as winged half-animal, half-human creatures that guard or carry the throne of the deity, and similar iconography is visible across the ancient Near East. Ezekiel, during the Exile, had a famous vision of cherubim as terrifying multi-faced beings, possibly borrowed from Babylonian imagery; after the Exile, as Jewish theology began to conceive of God as more and more remote and less human-like, an array of semi-divine angelic beings started becoming important as intercessors, at which point cherubim became part of the “inner circle” of angels, close to God’s throne and intellect. This angelology was eventually adapted by Christians, and, thanks to Renaissance painters adopting the imagery of Greek and Roman putti (winged child-like figures), cherubs eventually became the cute little guys we associate with them today, though still strongly associated with their proximity to God. What I’m asking is: Is Heathcliff a divine being? Will He soon transcend away from our experience, leaving behind the cherubim he created in His image to relay to us commandments about what kind of helmets we are to wear, and when?

The Lockhorns, 5/5/26

As a frequent public transit user, I think people’s worry about crime on public transit is largely overblown, but there are definitely dangers to look out for. Like, for instance, what if Leroy Lockhorn just started blathering on at you about how he can’t keep up with the slang the kids use these days, and your stop is miles away? Not the sort of thing that’ll happen to you in your car, I’ll say that.

Judge Parker, 5/5/26

“I mean, we’re not here, so it’s not like we have any idea how good a job you’re doing. But we know you have low self-esteem and will do pretty much any annoying job if people compliment you for it, so we’re giving that a shot.”

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The Lockhorns, 4/20/26

A fun subtle running bit in The Lockhorns is that Leroy’s coworkers hold him in as much contempt as his wife does, but with a subtle difference in tone: Loretta is furious that she’s shackled to this loser forever, while his coworkers seem to enjoy him as the office clown, the lovable loser whose antics they presumably talk about at length when he’s out of earshot or maybe even when he’s just within it. Look at the big smile on the receptionist’s face as she delivers this zinger! Anyway, this kind of interaction is probably marginally less corrosive to Leroy’s soul than the ones he has with Loretta, so you can see why he puts up with the low pay, and also why they don’t pay him very much.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 4/20/26

“Oh man,” you probably woke up thinking, “it’s 4/20, the marijuana holiday! Now that recreational cannabis is more or less legal in most of the United States, have any of the syndicated newspaper strips chosen to ‘blaze it’ with a weed-themed joke?” Turns out the answer to your question is “Yes, exactly one, and it’s Mother Goose and Grimm,” which I admit isn’t what I expected.

Hagar the Horrible, 4/20/26

Oops, it looks like Hagar and Eddie and the crew have died at sea. And, frankly, that’s a good thing: we’ve grown affectionate towards them over the years, but they’re fundamentally a gang of thieves and murderers who leave a trail of misery and death in their wake. Rest in piss, fellas!

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Gil Thorp, 4/13/26

Look, in general I’ve been in favor of Marty Moon’s sartorial evolution, but I think that maybe, with this white suit and flowered shirt with matching pocket square, he’s gone a bit too far in the dapper direction. It is, frankly, not really his vibe, and when the country club on whose grounds he is 100% not authorized to be present gets wind of him and the makeshift studio he’s broadcasting from, he’ll have to flee on short notice, and in the very likely scenario where he trips and falls in the process, the grass stains will never come out of that jacket.

The Lockhorns, 4/13/26

I stand by my earlier complaint about strips where we start in mid conversation but one character is just repeating back to the other one material covered previously in the conversation, but honestly, given that The Lockhorns is a one-panel strip about a married couple locked in a continuous argument that will never end until the universe achieves its final heat death, it’s kind of impressive that they don’t do it very often.

Crankshaft, 4/13/26

Holy cow, doing a Santa-related pun … in April? Christmas was months ago, do people even remember what Santa’s whole deal is? Better put in a panel depicting him doing his trademark laugh, just in case.

Alice, 4/13/26

Oh, man, social media … you guys heard about this? You heard about how addictive it can be? Alice has just gotten into social media, and it is not going well.