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Alice, 9/23/26

Faithful readers know that one of my favorite bits of Alice is the little … caption? extra text? … at the bottom, and its role in the narrative of each strip. Like today, you’re probably wondering: does it mean that Alice’s boyfriend is going to be doing all the driving again? Maybe she can take the bus or an Uber sometimes! Well, no: it turns out that it does mean that. The caption has spoken!

The Lockhorns, 9/23/26

The smile I can accept, but I’m really concerned with whatever Leroy is doing with the non-face parts of his body here. He’s … strutting? Dancing? It’s off-putting. Borderline grotesque. Knock it off, Leroy.

Beetle Bailey, 9/23/26

“What, the kids today can’t get horny from a drawing of a stacked blonde in a little black dress anymore? Huh? What is it that they want? Foot stuff? They like feet? Sexy lady feet, is that what they like? Fine, I guess we’ll give ’em feet.” –The Beetle Bailey division of Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC, apparently unaware that the way they draw fingers and toes is actually quite repellent

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Hi and Lois, 9/10/26

Now, look, I more or less enjoyed Forrest Gump as a college-aged moviegoer in 1994, but I wouldn’t say that it had much of a lasting cultural footprint, you know? Certainly not to the extent little kids would be going around quoting it. Just for comparison, an eight-year-old in 2026 quoting Forrest Gump would be like me as an eight-year-old in 1982 quoting … actually, I looked this up, and the Forrest Gump equivalent from 1960 (hit winner of multiple Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Director) is Billy Wilder’s The Apartment, one of the greatest movies ever made. I also saw The Apartment for the first time in 1994, but if I had seen it as a child, I’m pretty sure I would’ve loved it then too. A lot of it would’ve gone over my head but the dialogue is pretty accessible, I think. “That’s the way it crumbles, cookie-wise!” I would’ve said, if I had found myself in a situation like Ditto has in today’s strip. It would’ve still been appropriate, and my mother would’ve been charmed by my precocious taste in film instead of vaguely annoyed like Lois is here.

The Lockhorns, 9/10/26

Very longtime and very faithful readers of this blog know that today is my wedding anniversary, and, on the I think justified assumption that Leroy is a last-minute gift shopper, it appears to be the Lockhorns’ anniversary as well. This is even more disturbing than the fact that they’re millennials. This one’s personal.

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The Lockhorns, 9/3/26

I like how Leroy is delivering this line as he’s buttoning up his shirt. Like, sure, maybe he made some desperate promises when he was naked and Dr. Blog was poking and prodding at him, but now he’s regained his dignity enough to say “I’m not going to be following any of your advice because I hate myself and crave death, by the way.”

Dustin, 9/3/26

The most important thing about the advent of the Age of AI, from my perspective, is that I now have to deal with syndicated newspaper cartoonists who think they understand what AI is but don’t. Is AI a little man who sits in your computer and shares all your prejudices, and will gleefully add “LOL” to the resume of a feckless young person who, if he were real, you would hold in contempt? No! That’s not what AI is at all!

Dick Tracy, 9/3/26

“Yes, I’ll tell you what’s up … we’re tracking hackers and this guy’s name was Hackenschmidt. It must be related!” Sure, that’s incredibly stupid, but also he’s right, so we can only say that Dick has adapted to his narrative environment.