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Archive: Lockhorns

116

Good strips Saturday

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The Lockhorns, 6/14/25

Once, not long after we moved to Los Angeles, we were driving with friends through a historic neighborhood in Pasadena, full of Craftsman-style homes with neat, well-tended lawns, and we turned a corner and suddenly saw an utterly horrifying looking creature — Google Image Search would later confirm that it was a coyote with some kind of condition that had caused all of its hair to fall out — taking a big dump smack in the middle of one of said lawns, in broad daylight. It made eye contact with us and had the exact same expression on its face that Leroy has here, which is why I have to dub this Lockhorns one of the greatest ever made.

Mary Worth, 6/14/25

How are Wilbur and Dawn handling the fallout from the Belle Situation? Well, they’re sitting in pitch darkness, binging on fast food, and telling each other stories about all the terrible relationships they’ve had with dangerous, abusive people. This is … healthy behavior on their part, maybe? Healthier than usual? Less unhealthy?

Crock, 6/14/25

It’s crazy to call Crock an “innovator,” but this strip is from 1997, before most people had ever used the internet, and yet it manages to perfectly capture the experience of being online: you log on, and you get hit in the face with a bunch of water. Pretty sure all comic strips about the web in the subsequent 28 years have been downhill from this.

175

Slenderwilbur will haunt your nightmares

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Mary Worth, 6/8/25

Many of our most beloved deranged Mary Worth storylines end abruptly, with antagonists just straight up driving off a cliff or whatever, but I’m sorry, there is a lot to take in just in this single strip. The bell by which the Westons were saved was rung by … Belle’s brother? Who has tracked her down somehow because he suspects she’s off her meds, probably because she failed to check in with him? And also (and sorry, but this is much more important), he’s literally just a taller version of Wilbur? Like she spotted Wilbur across a TGIFridays in Tampa and thought, “Oh my goodness, he looks just like my beloved brother … but more squooshed! I’m gonna FUCK HIS BRAINS OUT AND MURDER ANYONE OR ANYTHING WHO COMPETES WITH HIM FOR MY ATTENTION!” Because that’s wild, possibly the wildest proposition this strip has ever asked me to buy in the 20+ years I’ve been reading it. And it’s clearly not the first time something like this has happened! “I’m sorry about this, shorter me!” Avery says. “I hope I came in time … there are no visible corpses, so I’m assuming I did, but sincere apologies if not!”

Mother Goose and Grimm, 6/8/25

The joke here is whatever, but I want to point out that it’s weird that Grimm is in the corner there watching this breakup go down. It’s a long-established aspect of this strip that it alternates between jokes involving the well-established cast of characters and sub-Far Side one-off gags. Feels like some new executive in charge of the syndicate sent down a note like “In order to reinforce Mother Goose and Grimm’s brand identity and lay the groundwork for future merchandising initiatives, every strip needs to feature one of the two beloved title characters, who casual readers definitely know by name and can identify.”

Panel from The Lockhorns, 6/8/25

Funniest thing here is that this is, I assume, their own house. Not sure if Leroy is very drunk or very sleepy — or, more cruel and therefore more likely, if he’s doing a bit and Loretta refuses to even give him the satisfaction of acknowledging that he’s doing a bit.

125

Mostly kind Sunday

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Crock, 6/1/25

Imagine if you petitioned Almighty God for a full accounting of all the evil you’ve done in your life. This is information that He, being omniscient, has at His fingertips, and, moreover, because He is omnibenevolent, he reveals your sins to you as a spreadsheet, the most perfect and versatile data presentation and manipulation format ever created. I usually hate on Crock, but I gotta say, as a real Excel head, I’m a fan of this one.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 6/1/25

A very realistic touch here is that in this pose the lithe yoga girlies have their foot fully up on their thighs, demonstrating a level of flexibility that Leroy and Loretta have not yet achieved. It’s not realistic that Loretta appears to just be having a conversation with Leroy at full volume in the middle of a packed yoga class, but I find it very funny nonetheless.

Judge Parker, 6/1/25

Oh, are you tired of Judge Parker strips where the characters just hang out together and whine about their various problems? Well, what if there was a strip where they hung out together and whined about refusing to talk about their various problems, huh? Would it make it any better if pretty horses were involved?