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Mark Trail, 4/24/20

Oh, hey, sorry I haven’t been keeping you up to date on what’s been up with Rusty and Kevin’s big walk in the woods. What’s happening is this: the woods are on fire! You can tell how pure of hearts these two lads are because they’re worried about how everyone else is doing as they run through the flames. Isn’t that cute? They’re all gonna die!

Funky Winkerbean, 4/24/20

I’ve been staring at this strip for a while now, growing increasingly upset both at it, for not having having any joke in it, and at myself, for either somehow missing an obvious joke or spending too much time staring at a strip that doesn’t have a joke in it and trying to will one into existence, with my mind. I feel like it has the rhythm of wordplay — like, “close to the action” should have one obvious, straightforward meaning, and then also have some punny double entendre implication, but it doesn’t have either. It’s not even a single-entendre. It’s a zero-entendre. Plus nobody refers to the Hollywood ‘Hills’ with some kind of implied quote marks around them. THEY’RE LITERALLY HILLS ARGH ARGH ARGH

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Panels from Crankshaft, 4/19/20

“I’m that bus driver with the awful accident record they keep doing the I-team reports about. I’ve killed dozens of children! I’m widely loathed!”

Panel from Slylock Fox, 4/19/20

Hey, Slylock, I’m pretty sure you’ve never pushed an egg through your cloaca but if you did and you knew there was a place where they were giving out the good painkillers, you’d probably want to be there too, you know?

Mark Trail 4/19/20

“OH SAY KIDS DID YOU EVER WANT TO HURT OR KILL SOMEONE … WITH A PLANT? HERE’S A BUNCH OF PLANTS THAT ARE POISONOUS! I’M NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD, I’M JUST SAYING … HERE THEY ARE”

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Fast Track, Judge Parker, and Mother Goose and Grimm, 4/13/20

“Well, this worldwide coronavirus pandemic is going to affect people’s ability to travel or gather in large groups, and is even modifying how we greet each other, but probably the whole world won’t be on lockdown with most economic activity suspended by the time these strips run!” –newspaper comic strip creators a few weeks ago, apparently

Between Friends, 4/13/20

“The worldwide coronavirus pandemic will have the greatest impact on our most vulnerable population: horny people who rely on business travel to hook up with sex partners.” –the creators of Between Friends, keeping their eyes on the real issues, as usual

Mark Trail, 4/13/20

I very much love that the Crowleys feel like they have to make a stirring emotional appeal here, rather than just saying, “Well, society frowns on it when you just leave a little boy to die in the woods.” And, you know, I get it! Have you seen Kevin?

Dennis the Menace, 4/13/20

We’ve discussed Dennis’s tentative journey towards literacy before, so now I’m spending a lot more time than I really should contemplating why Dennis sitting at the feet of a girl he normally loudly claims to be unable to stand, waiting for her to do something for him he could probably do himself, and I’m feeling personally menaced by the answers I’m coming up with and what it portends for their relationship post-puberty!