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Gil Thorp, 9/26/19

Hmm, why is it that sophomore Chance Macy is running up huge numbers on the football field, but doesn’t really want to hang out with other students, and particularly resists the female attention that a big man on campus often gets. Could it be because he’s an “overaged” sophomore, and by “overaged” we mean a 26-year-old undercover cop who quickly realized that nobody at Milford High was doing any crimes and decided to use his assignment to relive his high school athletic glory years? Very excited for Gil and Kaz to pretend to be shocked, shocked when this comes out just in time to force them to pull out of the championship game!

Mark Trail, 9/26/19

Look, Mark, I’m not big on pseudoscience either, but maybe right after your host tells you that they’ve been obsessed with something their entire life isn’t the best time to say “Wow, sounds like you wasted your life on a scam and a fraud, then!” It’s just basic courtesy, and it could be the difference between the world’s most preeminent yeti expert rescuing you from a savage yeti attack and the world’s most preeminent yeti expert laughing “Who’s a pseudoscientist now, Mark?” as a yeti tears you apart with its razor-sharp teeth.

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Shoe, 9/18/19

So many Shoe punchlines are met by goggle eyes of horror, and honestly there’s plenty of justification for that, but I really like the expression Roz is wearing here, which is sort of a grim, sly smile. “That’s right,” she’s thinking. “Marci went to Las Vegas with her man and they totally had sex. Procreative sex.”

Gasoline Alley, 9/18/19

In a development somehow even more baffling than the weeks and weeks and weeks Gasoline Alley spent on scrapbooking, Gasoline Alley has decided to spend God knows how many weeks discussing the very real and fascinating condition of synesthesia by focusing on a new character, a physician’s assistant who claims his synesthesia allows him to feel his patients’ ailments, which isn’t even close to being a real thing. Still, if it’s an avenue for this strip to get into some “the HUMAN MIND is the ultimate trip, baby” visual territory like it is today, I’m willing to forgive a lot.

Mark Trail, 9/18/19

“Kathmandu isn’t the primitive, out-of-date city the world thinks it is! Is it still a little naive? Possibly. Has the mayor been convinced to pay a substantial portion of the annual budget to promote the city’s modernity in what he’s been assured is a widely read and universally beloved American comic strip? Well, yes. But ‘primitive’? Definitely not!”

Pluggers, 9/18/19

The primary facts you need to know about a plugger’s family members in order to keep abreast of their lives are the various ways in which their aged and ill-treated bodies are falling apart.

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Mark Trail, 9/14/19

“Shh, Cherry, shhh, everything will be OK … I promise you,” Mark said, gently but firmly removing the Cherry-unit’s head so her system would deactivate and he could safely store her. “No need to worry her,” he thought. “I’ll just reassemble her when I get back from Nepal and she’ll never even realize I was gone.”

Dustin, 9/14/19

Hot tip for dude cartoonists: if you ever have the urge to do a strip about how “ha ha, women sure sometimes just SLATHER ON THE MAKEUP, amiright”, just be sure your lady characters are the ones doing the talking! Then it’ll all be on the up and up. We all know how catty women are, right? Mrr-ow!

The Phantom, 9/14/19

Hey, if you’ve been reading The Phantom for a while and you ever wondered “Hmm, would someone raised from birth to be a gun-toting warrior who goes on to suffer incredible physical and psychological trauma on mission after mission end up with, like, PTSD, maybe,” today’s dream sequence has some answers for you!