Post Content

Mary Worth, 7/16/20

“Not long. You know, Madi, I used to have a husband and son, but do you hear me complaining about their death and their mysterious disappearance, respectively? Of course not. I push all that pain deep down inside. Remember, the past only exists by how you remember it!”

Beetle Bailey, 7/16/20

The list of hilariously off base “This is what Beetle Bailey thinks a [insert any noun here] looks like” is of course long and storied, but what Beetle Bailey apparently thinks a rock musician looks like is a particularly great addition to it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/16/20

“It’s not like we, say, own a clinic together. Can you imagine? Like, I’d have to look at your dumb sour face all day, for one thing. To say nothing of dealing with your terrible personality.”

Post Content

Mark Trail, 3/15/20

“We are here, and by ‘here’ I mean … somewhere in … a city, maybe? Definitely on a street corner of some kind. And there’s a crowd of people … nearby? … who may or may not have anything to do with whatever’s happening here right now. But the important thing is that we’ve brought in Mark Trail to talk about Tinseltown movie magic, and — get this — he put on a suit and tie to talk to us. And not a well-tailored suit, either! What a rube!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/15/20

I honestly can’t tell if Rex is trying to put a stop to the flirting, because it’s workplace-inappropriate and also leads to sex which is icky and gross, or if the thinks that his weird, obfuscative statement that doesn’t indicate who’s flirting with who somehow constitutes more flirting.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 3/15/20

Have you ever wondered if the sapient bird-women and -men if Mother Goose and Grimm live their lives in terror thinking about the very real possibility that they’ll be killed, dismembered, and served up to humans to eat at a popular fast food restaurant? Well, good (?) news!

Post Content

Panel from Slylock Fox, 7/12/20

Slylock isn’t panicking because he knows that, due to the square-cube law, you can’t simply make an animal bigger but keep its proportions and functions otherwise the same: its mass increases more quickly than its surface area, and the physics that allow its anatomy to work would simply fail in a much larger version of the creature. This poor monstrosity is no doubt dying in agony right now, its internal organs collapsing under their own weight! (If you’re wondering how Slylock being a human-sized fox fits in with all this, the answer is he’s actually normal fox sized and anything you see to the contrary is just Lord of the Rings-style forced perspective trickery.)

Dustin, 7/12/20

Dustin: come for the pointless intergenerational warfare, stay for an extremely unpleasant new euphemism for genitals!

Hagar the Horrible, 7/12/20

Another victory of the working class over the bosses who would divide them! War is a racket, kids!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/12/20

The greatest love story every written keeps getting more romantic, everybody