Metapost: Hilarious comments! You love ’em, I love ’em, let’s enjoy ’em
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No fuss, no muss: just your comments of the week!
“Mary’s fresh muffins are made with raisins, bran and a lot of love. But mostly bran. These two won’t be worrying about their love lives for at least the next couple of hours, because they’ll be busy fighting over the bathroom.” –BigTed
And the hilarious runners up!
“You can only see a tiny bit of the animal trivia mural he painted on his wall, which reads:
HAMMERHEAD SHARKS
HAVE SEVEN SENSES” –Schroduck, on Twitter“Joey hasn’t even started going to school yet. You’re not a menace, Dennis, you’re an asshole.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip
“Chip’s look of disgust in the penultimate panel is priceless. ‘Oh, man,’ he thinks. ‘There go my afternoon plans of swimming naked in the town square, begging the populace for spare change, and siccing my dogs on unsuspecting passersby.’” –Joe Blevins
“This rare blood type, is it purple? Because that’s what’s coming out of Connor.” –Hogenmogen
“I didn’t have Newspaper Spider-Man pegged as a public transit advocate, but what better way to avoid gridlock and reach major employment centers like hospitals than Miami Metro?” –NoVan
“Change dot org petition to prevent any Funkyverse character from ever again being referred to as an ‘Old Baller.’” –Dan
“The Weston family calendar looks pretty empty, now that Wilbur’s erased ‘splashing’ and ‘stalking’ from his schedule. ‘Eating four more muffins’ does not count as a life-plan, buddy.” –Hopesters
“Today Wilbur starts his new book, I Survived but I Wish I Hadn’t.” –Mikey
“No I didn’t misspeak. When I say see him laugh, I mean it. As we’re solely a visual medium void of all sounds. I’m not sure whether to be thankful that I can’t hear these assholes I have to spend time with, or … no, scratch that, I am very very thankful.” –DimensionalOtter
“Giraffes are gentle herbivores but when it comes to Rusty I hope they’ll make an exception.” –Escape Zeppelin
“Ah, I see the squirrels of Lost Forest have finally completed their giraffe-mech. Let’s watch that little bastard Andy chase them now!” –Voshkod
“The Lockhorns are ‘life partners‘ because it’s not legal in their state to marry your identical cousin.” –Miles O’Thrillhouse, on Twitter
“That’s the response of a mom who offered to help earlier in the week and is now smugly watching their child try to complete the project as the bus approaches. THIS mid-morning sherry will be extra sweet.” –Kevin on Earth
“The shovel’s purpose is clear. This is now the only way that Bull can have a bowel movement. If a bear shits in the woods, a Bull shits on the football field.” –seismic-2
“Aside from any of the women at all, is there a duller Funky Winkerbean character than Buck? He’s sort of a lunkhead ex machina.” –Uncle Lumpy
“If Lucky Eddie is literate at all (unlikely) it would be in the rune marks of his people, certainly not in handwritten modern English. I think he’s disturbed because he can only assume the incomprehensible chirography on the woman’s hand is some form of eldritch script and he’s doomed to go mad from even a glimpse of it.” –TheDiva
“Ok, Hagar might lose points for ignoring their illiteracy, but you have to give some credit for the woman’s outfit. Sure, at first glance it looks like a low-cut pink top of today. But they went out of their way to show the whole thing was woven from coarse scratchy fibers, something from before their were more comfortable fabrics. The color would have to be orchil so is quite faded, reflecting a time when such garments would be expensive enough to pass down as heirlooms. And I don’t know that Norse women actually turned away would-be suitors by carrying dismembered hands to set them up with, but it seems plausible.” –pachoo
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