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This is getting to be a regular thing, but once again I present to you this week’s almost-made-it contenders for the Comment of the Week.

“Judging by Spider-Man’s continued ineptness at crime-fighting in this strip, this may very well be the end of him. I mean, he’s having trouble taking down the evil butler, what’s he gonna do against his worst enemy? Die, I suspect.” –Debt On

“Clearly, Hi and Lois are just putting on a good face for baby Trixie. In reality, the fact that he didn’t get the raise means they are all going to be out on the street and the only real estate Lois will be selling is her ass.” –Gryph

On TDIET: “The incredibly weird tone of the captions doesn’t help dispel the whole ‘written by a jaunty serial killer’ vibe of the strip.” –Christopher

“I think Aldo will be a sloppy drunk. Heck, he’s a sloppy sober.” –AppleGirl

“If Aldomania doesn’t end with Aldo shrieking maniacally, a bottle of Bombay in one hand and Mary’s head in the other, backlit by the flames of the burning pyre that is Charterstone, I for one am going to be dissapointed.” –Monkey’s Paw

“Truly, in the comic pages, characters seldom suffer fatal consequences from assaults/dog attacks/cliff-falls/beekeeper potshots. While this may be a comfort for Molly aficionados, I consider it a horrible shortcoming in For Better or For Worse.” –Fred P.

“You have to smile when Aldo says (out loud), ‘This is more like it!’ Who among us hasn’t experienced that first soft glow of false confidence that comes from angry binge drinking?” –smacky

“I was wondering what the hell that roof is made of, and then it came to me … gingerbread. I’d have a inspector come look at the house. Just not a hungry one.” –mndean

“For a little fun, try reading the TDIET ‘commercial’ out loud. It’s like two boxcars of adjectives ran into each other, and this is what came out.” –Zikar

“Resist the temptation to fall for Molly. Mark Trail uses compelling animal characters to draw in unsuspecting readers. You stay because you hope that this time, finally, at long last, Mark Trail will meet his demise. Then the actually interesting animal characters are never heard from again, and Mark Trail goes on to another self-righteous adventure … There was a great cat character a couple of years ago, I have never gotten over it.” –Clyde

“Seeing Aldo plunge off of a cliff is a great way to ring in the Jewish New Year! L’shana Tova, Aldo. But soon, I fear, ‘L’chaim’ would be ironic.” –Marc

“All I can say about Mary Worth is — worst city planners ever. ‘Hey, you know what this quaint residential district needs? A big-ass gaping chasm.'” –Raznor

“In Mary Worthland, even the bumper stickers are dull and verbose. The political ones must be fascinating: ‘Considering all factors, although I continue to have certain reservations about aspects of his domestic and foreign policies, and after weighing the arguments advanced by his opponent, the junior senator from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I urge you to vote for President George W. Bush in his campaign for re-election in 2004. Thank you for your kind attention.'” –Von Zeppelin

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While Aldomania is in full swing, let’s not forget other important facts, such as the fact that more information about licorice can be found on the Internet. Of course, you know that and I know that, but wouldn’t you want to tell everyone else about it? You can, if you make like faithful reader and commentor 2fs:

2fs doesn’t just talk the talk: he also walks the walk, or, in this case, Googles the Google. Check out that computer screen, close up:

Remember, licorice shirts are available in green and pink.

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Apartment 3-G, 9/23/06

Ah, Eric Mills, engaging in a little art discussion with Lu Ann! Say, is something looking a little … different about this art impresario and Hat Man since last we saw him?

I know, I know, it’s the coloring mules’ fault, but I prefer one of the following explanations instead:

• Eric Mills realized that he’s got to stay “young” and “hip” if he wants to get involved in the New York avant-garde art scene. Signing Lu Ann and her faux-Victorian fern drawings is a good start, but if he wants anyone in the art world to take him seriously, he’s got to dye his hair blonde. Unfortunately, he’s too cheap to go to a salon and tried to do it with nobody’s help but Miss Clairol, which resulted in that sort of orangey color that really dark hair gets when its been inexpertly dyed.
• Eric Mills is a chameleon shapeshifter. His hair changes color to match the tresses of whatever young lady he’s trying to bed. Today’s strip indicates that Lu Ann and Margo’s fight over him is pointless, as he’s really after Tommie.
• Eric Mills has “mood hair.”

Anyway, Margo is sure not winning any points with her ludicrously petulant behavior. What with her pouting, her bossiness, her demands for attention, and her lack of the sort of social skills that most of us learn in kindergarten — well, she’d better hope that Eric Mills is into four-year-olds. Wait, that came out wrong.

Mary Worth, 9/23-4/06

Now … now see here, people. Aldo is not dead, OK? He … he can’t be dead. I’m sure he’s just … terribly injured. Terribly, terribly, passive-aggressively injured. When the jaws of life pulled his shattered body out of his smashed, smoldering car, I’m sure the first words out of his mouth were “Mary … Worth,” which is why the cops called her. His second words were “Where’s … my … booze?”

Saturday’s strip also offered a revealing look at the home life of Professor and Mrs. Chinbeard. Grading papers, snotty putdowns, bumper sticker quotes, endless hair brushing to avoid getting into bed with that smug bastard … it all goes a long way towards explaining Toby’s emotionally deadened look in Sunday’s final panel.

For Better Or For Worse, 9/24/06

This made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.