Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/24/18

Those of you who are longtime OG Joshreads dot com trufans remember how in the early days of this blog we had a great deal of fun with the Canadian soap opera-ish comic strip For Better or for Worse, and one of the days we had the most fun with it was January 26, 2005, when the strip came up with an inexplicable and hilarious series of words a Canadian tween might use to denigrate a classmate for her promiscuity, the most absurd of which was “roadside.” What I’m trying to say is, the two Hanks have been doing their tour of roadside attractions for weeks, and now Hank Sr. has finally encountered a “roadside” “attraction” in the form of Millie Gray! Sorry, Lefty Gillis, your gal’s about to be swept off her feet by her first love, a big shot horror comics artist who has an RV and everything! Sorry, Hank Jr., you’re gonna have to find a non-RV place to sleep tonight! If this RV is rockin’, it’s a sign that it’s a little unbalanced, so don’t come a knockin’, as it could tip right over!

Mary Worth, 6/24/18

Brandy: A woman haunted by a vague, intrusive fantasy that she’s desperately fleeing from the faceless adversaries trying to track her down and kill her, a woman comforted by the white noise of crashing waves on the beach. Is she the perfect match for a ex-con pill fiend who was wildly incompetent at every aspect of being a drug dealer? Looks like we’re going to find out!

Mark Trail, 6/24/18

Mark Trail wouldn’t be my first guess as to which soap opera strip character would show up with a cherry-picked anecdote to explain that, sure, spicy foods from weird foreign countries are becoming increasingly popular, but they’re probably detrimental to the health of God-fearing Americans and we should stick the flavorless boiled meat dishes our Anglo-Saxon ancestors enjoyed, but, you know what? It’s definitely not a surprise or anything.

Dennis the Menace, 6/24/18

Summoning a pack of neighborhood dogs of all shapes and sizes to do his bidding? Pretty menacing, I would say!

Funky Winkerbean, 6/24/18

“Prototypical persons with NPD present with many interpersonal problems and comorbid disorders, such as depression and bipolar disorder, with consequent increases in risk of suicide, alcohol and substance abuse, and eating disorders” is a sentence from the Psychiatric Times that I’m just going to leave here for no reason!

Post Content

Mark Trail, 6/23/18

“I have to say, though, I was expecting Cherry to be here! Just because, uh, I wanted to see her. Definitely not because the sinister nightmarish Old One I serve hungers for the blood of female mortals in particular. [nervous laughter]”

Hagar the Horrible, 6/23/18

“Isn’t he too young to rove along the shores of more civilized Europe, murdering everyone and stealing whatever isn’t nailed down? Don’t you want to break the endless chain of brutality?”

Post Content

KAPOW! It’s this week’s top comment.

“I actually genuinely like the smile on Roy’s face in his one panel. My man’s gonna talk a half-hour off from his hell family, and he’s gonna spend it doing what he loves: straight poopin’. Happy Father’s Day, Roy.” –Dan

SHAZAM! It’s the very funny runners up.

“An hour later they bust the door down to find Roy long dead. Tragic, of course, but at least there’s one less to compete for toilet time.” –WLP

“‘Uh-oh‘ is right, Snuffy! It looks like your family members have finally figured out that you’re a worthless sponge who contributes nothing of value to the family. If I were you’d, I’d grab your trusty squirrel gun and head for … well, not the hills because you’re already in the hills. But a less convenient part of the hills.” –Joe Blevins

“Of course, even steam will set off a smoke alarm, in my experience. Um, should I have my smoke alarm checked? You know, for all the sex I hope to have, someday.” –Duke of Earl Grey

“Killer is an ifriti, a spirit of smoke and fire. Excite his passions and look out! He may engulf you in the inferno of his love.” –Bunivasal

“Police helicopters circling over Los Angeles: ‘Once again, that name is spelled M-A-H-L-E-R. This is your last warning…’” –Lorne

“I don’t want to start a war here, but I am anti-excessive sauce and proud of it. Fast food dining should be between one sauce packet and one 10-piece nuggets. Polysaucy ruins families. Don’t dunk that chicken if one sauce cup ain’t fillin’. Eat ’em dry or don’t even try.” –jroggs

“Look Rusty, if Mark knew you were going to enjoy your vacation he never would have loaded you onto a jet-black food truck and driven deep into the jungles of Central America.” –Escape Zeppelin

“I understand the hipster chick wearing sunglasses at a Rocky Horror screening after midnight, but what’s the EMT’s excuse? ‘The victim appears to be DOA,’ he says, as he fumbles with his hands to pack a still-breathing person into a body bag.” –BigTed

“Haha the joke’s on Dr. Dog-man, who wasted 12+ years of his life on higher education in order to acquire the elite skills necessary to diagnose and advise his patients. Cat-man has absolutely no intention of changing his diet, lifestyle, or boxers, probably. He’s just fine, thank you very much, sitting there cross-eyedly waiting for a Vicodin prescription that he will spend Friday filling and then selling to his nephew alley-cat, hopefully in enough time to get rhino-man’s TV out of hock so they can watch the game on Saturday. (Note to self: submit caption: ‘Pluggers have long been known to take a knee during the national anthem’ for illustration: cat-man kneels in front of ancient fuzzy T.V. screen to fiddle with rabbit-ear antennas while rhino-man slumps to the floor from the sofa, hat in hand, patriotic but lightheaded due to repeated plasma donations.)” –Hopester

“I wonder how Thel manages to keep from wincing when her children monumentally stupid things. Maybe the key is distraction, like holding on to a piping hot cookie pan with your bare hands.” –pugfuggly

“Man, I wonder what Crock was asking about that he looks so smug after a drifter living in a cave read him the first hit from Google.” –Bunivasal

“‘You were able to answer all of Crock’s questions, wise sage. Is that from years of study with great scholars?‘ ‘Nah. The little twerp mostly asked about guerilla warfare and killing sycophantic underlings. I gave him a copy of the Small Wars Manual and the complete works of Agatha Christie. You’ll be burning villages to save them in no time. Well, someone will. Not you, exactly. Uh, you’re OK with the taste of bitter almonds, right?’” –Voshkod

“This is the first time I’ve ever seen any attempt by the General to eat solid food, unless a cocktail olive has been inadvertently consumed at some point.” –Rusty

“The second panel of Mark Trail looks like an old banner of the labour movement. What does it signify, the Popular Front of archaeologists and zoologists?” –Ettorre

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon! If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!