Archive: Blondie

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Blondie, 10/2/20

One of Blondie’s less pleasant running bits is about how most poor people are scam artists, actually, and I feel like today’s strip started out as being a variation on that but somehow become something much, much weirder. This dude isn’t drawn as the typical long-haired scruffy Blondie panhandler; he’s just a regular guy with normal clothes, a respectable haircut, an unsettlingly piercing gaze, and a desire to engage with you about the professional upkeep on his toes. The fact that he’s actually wearing closed-toed shoes makes the whole interaction even more off-putting for reasons I can’t quite put my finger on, maybe because the strip is demanding we think about this guy’s feet but isn’t showing them to us so we need to use our imaginations.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/2/20

Well, it seems what “does it” for Buck and Mindy, sexually, is when things more or less work out for the best without anyone having to really do all that much, so I have some good news for them about the comic strip they currently inhabit.

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Blondie, 9/29/20

We are all, of course, concerned about the amount of time that Elmo, a child, spends with Dagwood Bumstead, an adult with whom he does not live and is not related. Today it looks like Blondie and Dagwood have come up with a sensible solution to the problem: if Elmo wants to talk with them about, say, getting unwanted attention from someone at school, a subject best handled by his parents and his teachers, they will interact with him out on their front sidewalk, respond only with nonspecific noises, and under no circumstances allow him into the house.

Mary Worth, 9/29/20

“Like, just imagine if my husband and I loved each other! Pretty crazy world that would be, huh?”

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Mary Worth, 9/24/20

Well, Tommy’s given his life over the Christ and he doesn’t do crimes anymore — no more meth dealing, and not even any more pharmacy fraud. But is dining and dashing really a sin? In Matthew 12, Jesus endorses taking grain from other people’s fields if you’re hungry, even if it’s the sabbath! Hope you can run fast, Brandy.

Blondie, 9/24/20

“Oh, by the way, honey, you’re on speaker, even though I’m talking into the handset. Almost like our universe is built out of a limited set of clip art that can’t be added to or modified even for a visual that’s central to the gag we’re trying to do. Anyway, please cook something nice for my asshole boss.”