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Mary Worth, 12/21/18

Oh man, it just now occurs to me that I’m not entirely sure what Ian’s voice is supposed to sound like! Ever since I stumbled upon these amazing videos years ago, I’ve heard this Ian in my head as the canonical Ian voice:

(I don’t think I’ve posted this in years and if you haven’t watched it yet you really owe it to yourself, it’s a couple weeks of Mary Worth strips acted out panel by panel, and I only found out long after first seeing it that it was made in Baltimore by friends and friends of friends of mine!)

BUT ANYWAY, while I enjoy the thought of Ian drawwwwing out his vowels pommmpously like the actor in the video, there are other alternatives. All we know is that this inexplicably besotted young woman thinks it’s “powerful”! He could have a very deep and stentorian voice! Or maybe gruff, scratchy, and bear-like! Also, we know he’s proud of his Scottish heritage, but have ever established whether or not he was actually born in Scotland? Does he have a Scots accent? Does he sound like Sean Connery, but drunker and angrier??? I will be thinking of nothing else for weeks!

Dustin, 12/21/18

You know what I always thought of as an “unspoken covenant”? Not to just start a conversation with a total stranger with “Good lord, there’s shit everywhere in there.” Maybe it’s just me though!

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Judge Parker, 12/20/18

I love how absolutely blasé Judge Parker Senior is about this whole scenario while Katherine freaks out. “Now, I know stealthily breaking into people’s homes and leaving expensive and no doubt extremely illegally obtained diamonds as a vaguely menacing gift is an very on-brand move for Norton, but Sam’s contact at the CIA said he was killed. When has the CIA ever lied to anybody? No, this must be from some other Norton. Maybe the anti-virus people? Do we get these with our subscription?”

Mary Worth, 12/20/18

Just to remind you, King Lear features, among other things, vicious intrafamily dynamics, betrayal, murder, a character’s eyes being gouged out on stage, poisoning, suicide — just bad business all around. But apparently hearing Ian describing it all is enough to get this lady horned up. Sure, STEM classes are more “practical” or whatever, but you don’t get this level of arousal from taking mechanical engineering, folks!

Dennis the Menace, 12/20/18

Mr. Wilson’s facial expression here is an unusual one that I would describe as “cruel triumph.” “Egads! This whole time, all I had to do to tame this monster was placate him with a series of cheap trinkets? Finally, I shall be able to bend his menacing to my own designs!”

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Dick Tracy, 12/19/18

“Someone has to pay! And it will be either a high diver or the general manager of the local Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum! Fate has intervened!”

Meanwhile over at The Dail[y…], some enraged managing editor is walking around waving this morning’s paper in the air. “Just two stories and one photo on the front page of the Entertainment section?” he shouts, livid. “A banner headline that only goes across three columns? Someone has to pay!”

Judge Parker, 12/19/18

I love the looks of delight on Judge Parker Senior and Katherine’s face as they open the extremely expensive gift that someone just left in their house. It’s a pair of gorgeous baubles, just for them, fallen as if from heaven, which they clearly feel they deserve! But wait, what’s that note? Are there possibly … consequences to this? Strings attached? NOOOOOOO, THIS IS A NIGHTMARE

Mary Worth, 12/19/18

Wait a minute … wait a damn minute … is the Cameron who’s going to be tempted by another in this storyline … Ian? Is this perfectly nice looking young woman going to throw herself at an unpleasant chinbearded academic blowhard, while Toby, toned and constantly lounging about in athleisurewear, remains un-flirted with? This will not stand.

Family Circus, 12/19/18

A spectre is haunting the Keane Kompound … the spectre … of Santa.