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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/20/16

I guess the point of this comic is that … cruel bullying doesn’t stop in high school, but will continue well into your adult life? And women are more likely to use mockery and social exclusion than out-and-out violence in their bullying? Of course, this is lawless, feud-ridden Hootin’ Holler; as Mabel’s clenched fists in the final panel demonstrate, this confrontation is going to to get violent soon enough.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/20/16

You know, I joke about all the old people drama in Rex Morgan, M.D., but to be fair, this strip is one of the only bits of pop culture that actually treats the lives of the elderly as interesting and worthy of dramatization, which I definitely approve of! Still, today’s strip is here to remind us that, while old people may in many ways be vibrant, intriguing human beings, in other ways they’re crumbling, feeble, and on the verge of death.

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Spider-Man, 3/19/16

I genuinely neither know nor want to know what is going on below Spider-Man’s waist in panel two here. The relative ability to rotate your femur bones all the way around of … a spider? Anyway, this is nicely distracting us from the fact that, when running to find his wife only in the company of a guy who already knows his secret identity, Peter Parker feels obliged to abruptly put on his spider-suit. It makes him feel safe, and powerful!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/19/16

Parson Tuttle may be a grifter, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t experience pangs of conscience now and then. That’s why his wife is always there, to keep him on the plan! Those fancy hats aren’t gonna pay for themselves!

Dennis the Menace, 3/19/16

In the end, this is the most effective way the old can menace the young: by letting them know that the long life they have ahead of them will be filled with disappointments.

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Hey guys! I know I’ve been nudging you gently, but it’s been a few weeks since I nudged you hard that, if you like my blog, you will probably like and should read my novel, The Enthusiast! One of the plot threads involves an online community obsessed with a soap opera comic strip and may seem familiar to some of you. Other parts are about trains, marketing, integrity, joy, and How We Live Now. I think you will like it a lot! It’s gotten a bunch of really nice reviews on Goodreads, and if you want a sample, you can read the first chapter on Medium or listen to me read the third chapter on the Catapult podcast. Once you’ve done all that, you’ll obviously want to buy it; you can get it in hardcover or softcover form from TopatoCo or in ebook form from Gumroad (DRM free! all formats!) or the Amazon Kindle store.

But wait, there’s more! If you only buy books when you get interact with their author in real life, well, I’ll be doing a book tour through the northeast US in late April and early May! Pencil in one of these dates, please!

April 26: Upshur Street Books, Washington, DC
April 28: Atomic Books, Baltimore, MD
May 2: The City Reliquary, Brooklyn, NY
May 5: Talking Leaves Books, Buffalo NY

If you haven’t bought a book yet, have been thinking to yourself “Oh, I keep meaning to buy Josh’s book,” and can make it to one of these readings, I would urge you to hold out and buy the book there! I would love to get as big a crowd as possible at the events and have as many book sales as possible there to make it worthwhile for the hosts, who are very graciously putting up an event for a self-published author.

ANYWAY! With that all out of the way, let’s laugh heartily at this week’s comment of the week:

“Oh, it seems the Commissioner is calling for the mysterious hero known only as Gullman. Excuse me Mary, I have … an appointment.” –Dan

The runners up will also prompt guffaws!

“This is the ‘nursery,’ Dr. Morgan! Please don’t let the fact that I’m extremely old but still have a crib in the house bother you. Say, have you ever heard of a sexual practice called infantilism? My former lover Franco Wallace sure has!” –BigTed

“I don’t follow Gil Thorp so those names are just a list of things to me. Maxwell, Kenzie, Leisl Ishii, Stacy Duford! Winter Blast, Central City! Snow slide, zipline, music, trouble! It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!” –TheRealAaron

“Neighborhood pinhead? My neighborhood doesn’t have it’s own pinhead, and I pay outrageous HOA dues! I wonder how I can get Cilla to throw in this pinhead for free? Maybe by answering all her questions in the tersest manner possible and smirking. That usually does it.” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

“That jester, man. That jester in the lower right corner of the last panel. That guy … I don’t trust that guy. He’s able to transition too quickly from juggling to bloodlust. Most people need a few seconds for that.” –Joe Blevins

“So, Curtis’s parents partake in Chess Sex? ‘I’ll move my bishop to the desired space, hehe.’” –DimensionalOtter

“You know, guys, if you have nothing to say, it’s perfectly okay to just be quiet and not say it.” –bourbonbabe, unbuckled

“Meanwhile, Max Mouse is deep in thought. ‘Should I aim for blackmail, or identity theft?'” –Peanut Gallery

“Look at Slylock Fox: the hat, the cape, the exaggerated lean. I just realized he’s not a detective; he’s a stereotypical 1970s pimp. Even the name fits.” –Steve S

“No, we don’t serve ‘Margaretas.’ Now shut up and drink your Margropolitan.” –Doctor Handsome

“Based on Jeff’s expression in the first panel, ‘You would know, Mary!’ is coded speech for, ‘Help! A scorpion crawled up my pants leg and stung me in the ass!’ That will never happen, though, because it would be an interesting plot point, something that is expressly forbidden.” –AhClem

“This was the future of the Keane family compound, the boy child who was to lead them? Her brother was an idiot and Dolly knew it. Oh, in time he would take the throne but it would be Dolly who held the true power. She would manipulate him as easily as she manipulated the social workers who visited them weekly. Having tamed the dragon of 3rd grade math, the mind and will of Billy Keane would prove no challenge, no challenge at all.” –EscapeZeppelin

“And, number one on the list of the ten most unnecessary things to say to someone crossing an unstable rock bridge over a chasm: ‘Be careful!'” –lumaca morente

“Aren’t homework assignments for early elementary school-age children typically on brightly-colored worksheets, not a scattering of looseleaf, legal pads, and accordion files? I think Daddy tricked Billy into doing the taxes this year.” –Irrischano

“In his heart, Rex knew that his BMW’s electronic key wouldn’t lock the old man’s mouth, but he felt compelled to try anyhow.” –pugfuggly

“If someone doesn’t close that portal to the Dimension of the Gulls, Santa Royale is going to be buried under feet of bird crap. Which, taking all things into account, would probably be an improvement.” –Voshkod

“In every first panel in this series, Jeff has a look on his face like he has no idea what Mary is talking about and no idea how to respond. He’s just guessing what to say, knowing he has to say something and hoping that it doesn’t throw Mary into a murderous rage or, worse, draws her meddling eye to him. The second panel reflects his gut-wrenching relief that he guessed right — the vertiginous gratitude one might feel after just avoiding being hit by a train.” –Lawyerbob

“Usually, someone who says ‘I’m Dr. Worth … at your service’ with that facial expression is about to sell molly at a rave.” –Steve S

“Yeah, if there’s anything preverbal toddlers hate, it’s watching people dance and sing on TV.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“No, this isn’t the exact same strip we’ve been running for week now. This version has an ad for Honda in it. Cha ching! Who’s lazy now, sukkas?” –Aphthakid

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Strange World Cthulhu: Shadow Over Texas: Veteran Comics Curmudgeon fan Donald Saxman has a new Kickstarter campaign ad for an HP Lovecraft monster fighting role playing game set in Texas in the roaring twenties. Even if you aren’t an RP gamer the “Strange World Cthulhu: Shadow Over Texas” adventure modules are interactive fiction and the Texas sourcebook should confirm all your most horrible suspicions about the Lone Star state. If that doesn’t sell you, haven’t you every wondered what would happen if the steam-powered Battleship Texas fought the ancient giant Deep One Dagon?
• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• Oh, yes, and my novel is something you should buy, in hardback, paperback, or ebook form! It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.