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Comics archive! Funky Winkerbean

Jeff’s eyes look truly haunted in that last panel

Family Circus, 10/23/14

For all its various crimes against taste, humor, and narrative sense, the Family Circus at least treats its pets fairly realistically. Sam, Barfy, and Kittycat don’t exchange wisecracks with the kids in thought balloon form like, say, the dogs in Marvin; they are instead mostly ignored by the children except for when they’re being tormented, which strikes me as an accurate portrayal. Anyway, that all ends today with this terrifying depiction of Kittycat’s facial expression, which proves that he’s definitely in league with Satan, and is perhaps possessed by the Lord of Lies himself. Presumably when the poor creature rejected baptism in the name of Christ, he created a space within himself where the Devil could get in. Now the demon-controlled cat body still purrs in evil joy, even though his heart stopped beating long ago

Funky Winkerbean, 10/23/14

Funky Winkerbean is taking a break from death-terror and gross romance to give us a lighthearted sequence of Les and Funky on their morning jog. (Funky hates jogging but has to get in better shape so he doesn’t die of a massive heart attack, so it’s not a complete break from death-terror, I guess.) Anyway, Les takes this private moment to gently let his friend know that he hasn’t been meeting the pun quota set for every Funkyverse character. “Oh, crap,” thinks Funky. “Uh … it’s a running panter? Panter? Get it, it’s like banter but I’m panting?” Les smirks his approval.

Curtis, 10/23/14

Who can forget those great slang phrases of yore, like “Answer your telephone: ‘This doesn’t concern you!’” Or “I believe the message boy from Western Union is at your door with a telegram: ‘Your opinion is irrelevant!’” Or “A courier from the King has arrived at your castle, bearing a scroll sealed with the royal signet: ‘I don’t need your advice!’” I mean, this strip isn’t up-to-the-minute like Blondie, so we didn’t get a real cutting-edge phrase like “You might want to check your Twitter DMs: ‘Don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong!’” But this is still a good approximation of how the kids talk, A+ job.

Marvin, 10/23/14

Marvin has been farting out aggressive, mindless defiance literally since the day he was born.

Sunday quickies

Better Half, 10/19/14

Once again, the Sunday Better Half panels offer variations on a theme! Let’s see: marital whimsy, marital whimsy, marital whimsy, marital whimsy, OH MY GOD STANLEY AND HARRIET ARE DROWNING IN DEBT AND GOING BANKRUPT, THIS IS TERRIBLE, THEY CAN’T EVEN AFFORD LEGAL REPRESENTATION, WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO

Mary Worth, 10/19/14

Haha, never mind, Mary’s not going to marry Hanna off, she’s just going to put her in a home, as I originally predicted. Sorry, Hanna, but when you signed that Charterstone lease you gave Mary power of medical attorney! Should’ve read the fine print!

Funky Winkerbean, 10/19/14

In case you were wondering if Les still spends every day in dread of the looming spectre of death: Les still spends every day in dread of the looming spectre of death.

Ha ha, kids today, takin’ pictures in vast open fields and whatnot

Funky Winkerbean, 10/17/14

So, yeah, it’s been all week and I still haven’t gotten over this “Les bowls Cayla over by writing a comic book about how she rescued him from the pits of despair when his first, more important wife died” plot twist. To make it even better, he’ll be flying her to Hong Kong so they can watch it get spat out of an industrial-sized laser printer at whatever low-bid printing company he picked that will just build a book out of any PDF you send them, which means the whole trip will be blessedly tax deductible. This obviously merits some tongue-kissing, and much as I rag on this strip, I have to say that Summer’s expression of mingled shock and disgust is perfectly rendered. She stands in for all of us.

Six Chix, 10/17/14

You kids today, always taking pictures of each other with your cell phones for the instagrams and so forth! Enjoy your youth now, but know that the icy finger of death is always, always just inches away from your tender skin. That’s … that’s the message in this nationally syndicated cartoon today, I guess?

Pluggers, 10/17/14

Oh, sure, laugh at this plugger dog-man taking his date to a fast food restaurant if you must, but at least he’s moved a step or two up the food chain!