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Hi and Lois, 10/18/16
Lois, if you’re going to raise expectations like that, shouldn’t you make some minimal effort to meet them?
Funky Winkerbean, 10/18/16
Football penalty flags are yellow. The official isn’t ejecting Bull, he’s giving up.
Mary Worth, 10/18/16
Mary suggested Iris should maybe spend a little more time with Tommy. Now she has to settle for a mere week of congratulations, because they squandered the Peace Prize on that Santos dude.
Evolution moves fast chez Heathcliff.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/18/16
I guess it must be far enough down the line for Michelle and Jordan Like the Country to resume flirting. ‘Cause that’s some straight-up banter right there.
Ballard Street, 10/18/16
Too late, by decades.
Mark Trail, 10/18/16
“Cannot … suppress … Nature facts!”
– Uncle Lumpy
Dick Tracy, 10/10/16
Thank goodness Dick Tracy is brave enough to blow the lid off the real shape of political corruption in modern-day America: members of Congress misusing their Capitol office phones to illegally solicit cash donations from little old ladies who are eager to see human-alien hybrids put into internment camps.
Funky Winkerbean, 10/10/16
Welp, Funky Winkerbean is in color again, which no doubt heralds a big shift in the storyline we’re following and … wait, what’s that? It’s literally the exact same thing from last week, where Frankie is going to use the power of his gossip site to ruin his son’s life, for some reason, alienating his readership in the process? I see.
Mary Worth, 10/10/16
“A meeting? That sounds like a fascinating thing that you were deliberately vague about for me to pry into. I just got back from a stay at a cosmetic surgery facility myself. They tightened my face another two notches! My nose is approaching Full Voldemort but my skin hasn’t been this firm and unlined since the Nixon Administration!”
Beetle Bailey, 10/10/16
Welp, looks like Sarge finally just straight-up murdered Beetle! I guess this strip is over now. Looking forward to seeing what new comic they replace it with, or maybe just enjoying the soothing blank space left over when they don’t bother!
Funky Winkerbean, 10/8/16
Heh heh, why should famous gossip website DMZ care about the sexy sex affairs of sexy movie stars? That’s for its much more popular rival, TMZ. DMZ brings you all the latest non-scandals of shlubby nobody comic book writers who have lucked into lucrative screenwriting gigs for some reason, which works out well for Frankie, who’s determined to ruin his biological son’s life!
Dennis the Menace, 10/8/16
“Because he just mauled a little kid real bad! They’re taking him to the hospital right now! No, I don’t know why Mr. Wilson is standing in the sprinkler.”
Six Chix, 10/8/16
tfw yr girlfriend is sick of fucking a muggle