Hi and Lois, 6/29/15
As Hi and Lois slowly retreats to its retro roots, the Thurstons are also starting to fulfill their role from a less genteel age: not only is Thirsty an unpleasant drunk once again, but the childless couple are also depicted as being just a little less classy overall than the Flagstons, and I mean “classy” as in economic class. Sure, they live in an identical suburban house next door, but there are hints. That patch on the chair, for instance: Lois would never permit anything so shabby in her home! The family dynamic that has Irma doing yoga in the living room of what I assume to be a multi-bedroom house specifically to annoy her husband is another issue altogether, as is the fact that Hi immediately says “that’s good, right?” to Thirsty’s announcement.
Funky Winkerbean, 6/29/15
Ah, let’s check back in with Cindy’s story, which it’s my understanding is about … how young people are terrible to old people? Hmmm, something seems off here, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
Ooh! Ooh! I know! He got them from a genie! Man, I’m really enjoying Heathcliff’s new arc-driven storytelling style.
“Wow, this section is full of misdirected lower-middle-class cultural resentment! Wouldn’t want you reading any of that.”
Don’t you miss the good ol’ days, when a soldier could be violently beat up day after day in the comics and no meddling politicians would disapprove?
Funky Winkerbean, 6/26/15
Oh, look, it’s “jack-and-jill (v)”, another made-up phrase that nobody will ever use from the strip that brought you “Lewis-and-Clarking,” “Nordic,” and “solo car date!” This one really ups the ante, in the sense that a character is summoned forth from the narrative ether and brought on-panel to say it after having terribly injured himself.
Attention cartoonists everywhere: the era when a sentence could be deemed a punchline just because it included the phrase “cell phone” was extremely brief and ended more than a decade ago! Please make a note of it.
It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize this isn’t just garden-variety Heathcliff irritating whimsy, but a terrible play on words: the genie created jeans, get it? Get it? GET IT??? Based on the numb expression on the genie’s face, he’s as disgusted by it as I am.
“Yes, that’s right lady,” thinks Marvin’s mom slyly in panel three, “my husband is completely unfuckable.”
CRANKSHAFT AND HIS BUDDIES ARE GOING TO BE ARRESTED FOR POLITICAL CRIMES AND CONVICTED IN A PUBLIC SHOW TRIAL
THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR MY WHOLE LIIIIIFE
Beetle Bailey, 6/20/15
Let’s ignore for the moment the chaplain’s little joke that he, as a clergyman, has a special right to God’s attentions and support in even the most trivial matters. Let’s instead focus on General Halftrack’s apparently entirely straight-faced question in panel two: “Then what is God interested in?” It’s as if he took a moment to sincerely contemplate what the omnipotent, omniscient creator of all time and space might deem important about one of His creations, a being whom He loves deeply despite the fact that He is as vastly more powerful and wise as we are to the tiniest bacterium, and he thought: yep, golf, definitely golf, I think about golf all the time so probably God does too.
Funky Winkerbean, 6/20/15
“What you should do with your next book is write about how you met and fell in love with Cayla, your current wife, and how that new relationship helped you move forhahahahaha obviously I’m kidding, write about Lisa, always Lisa, write about meeting Lisa and it will seem exciting and romantic at first but a miasma of despair will always be floating over it, always, because Lisa is dead and Lisa is always dead and you’re going to write about Lisa’s death forever and ever.”
Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/20/15
“Oh, good,” thinks Mrs. P., “it seems the bonding transference has occurred more quickly than anticipated! The parents aren’t necessary at all anymore. I’ll have them eliminated.”