Metapost: Smoldering, patreonizing comments of the week and change
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Hello all! I have this week’s comment of the week for you, but before that … a couple of notes. A few of you inquired about my safety in the current LA wildfires. Fortunately, we are far enough away from the fires that I’m not worried unduly (though we do have go-bags packed); we know people who have evacuated and lost homes but for us personally, the worst thing is the oppressive atmosphere (literal and figurative) from all the smoke.
However! I will note that somewhere very far down on the list of bad things about this disaster is the fact that it has forced me to eat a certain amount of crow. You may recall that I mocked the realism of the August 2020 Funky Winkerbean storyline, claiming that we would never see anything like the scope of disaster as depicted in the strip, which depicted a wildfire that hit both West Hollywood and Malibu; I assumed this would require a continuous wall of flame across 30 miles of the Santa Monica mountains.
But I hadn’t considered another possibility: that we’d have two very wet winters followed by a very dry one, and then we’d get freak 100 mph winds that started apocalyptic fires in multiple places simultaneously.
Anyway! I’m sitting my ass down and learning, mostly because the air is so foul I don’t want to go outside.
Also! Unrelated! But! You may recall that I have a Patreon, which I set up years ago. I initially intended to use it for bonus content of some sort, but I never really came up with what that might be, which means a number of very nice people are simply giving me several dollars a month and getting nothing in return! Subsequently I set up my subscription services, which allow you to get an ad-free version of the site or an email version of each post, which made me feel all the guiltier about letting down my Patreon backers.
Well, anyway, I just recently realized that I could simply … also put every day’s post on my Patreon, available only to my backers there! So that’s what I’ve been doing for the past week and will do in the future: if you follow me on Patreon, an ad-free version of my daily posts will show up in your feed, and (depending on your preferences) will get emailed to you as well. If you already back me on Patreon, you may have noticed this already; if you haven’t, go on over to the site and check it out! And if you’re someone who has been contemplating subscribing to my posts but don’t feel like putting your credit card number into yet another website because that’s what you use Patreon for, well, good news! Go and sign up!
OK! Thanks for indulging me with all that. Now, it is time for your comment … of the week.
“Curtis really missed the opportunity to pivot the strip to be about a newly divorced dad who has to navigate raising two children and a new marriage to a chair that’s dubiously legal at best.” –Jake
And the runners up! Very funny!
“Those are all the Morgans’ friends in 2025. Did some focus testing, and Buck just wasn’t putting up numbers.” –Illoumalnati, on BlueSky
“Not a vegan, but my understanding is that someone who’s been vegan for a while and all at once scarfs a huge chunk of beef is likely going to throw it back up, so I’m disappointed Dawn didn’t do that here mid-makeout. It would have made the date at least a little interesting.” –Thrax
“Holy crap, Jughaid’s a watch hipster. Like any watch snob, he’d spit on a quartz piece despite the more accurate timekeeping. Unlike any other watch snob though, he’s also spit on anything with a wrist strap. Suck it up and get a Casio, kid. You’ll still get to hold your head high in the watch collector community, and many models have an alarm.” –Tabby Lavalamp
“Miss Prunelly laughs because she knows how Jughaid feels. She didn’t get what she wanted for Christmas either (a blouse that buttons up in the front for a change).” –TheDiva
“I’m loving that ‘JEFFY’ sweater. Obviously that eponymous melonhead can’t read it (especially upside-down) so I’m guessing that Ma and Pa made him wear it so they don’t mix him up with the dog.” –pugfuggly
“‘But I’m the voice of Milford sports!’ seems less like a plea for his job and more like an explanation. ‘If you had to cover those idiot kids trying to move balls up and down a field every night, you’d drink too!’” –BigTed
“Billy knows that they have all been living in a newspaper comic strip for 23,686 days. Jeffy knows, too. He just doesn’t care. Sometimes they draw him in a shirt with ‘JEFFY’ on it. Sometimes they don’t. Nothing matters. Better not tell Dolly and PJ, though. They aren’t ready.” –Mysterion
“Hungover golf Monday is the first three-day holiday of the year at Foofram industries.” –Hibbleton
“Somehow I’m just noticing that every declarative sentence in Barney Google and Snuffy Smith ends with two exclamation marks. The incorrigible thief Snuffy must have stolen them from Hi and Lois because ‘I brought the rum,’ said as you enter holding out a bottle of rum, is something that should be boomed out cheerfully. Not murmured in a hushed tone as if you’re afraid that Dot will wish you into the cornfield.” –matt w
“You know what? I actually want to express a certain degree of respect to Snuffy Smith in today’s strip. Imagine loving your life SO MUCH that a literal psychic could tell you that all she can see in your future is the same crap you’re already doing — and your genuine, knee-jerk response is to do a fist pump and cheer. Say whatever you want about that awful, filth-encrusted, illiterate criminal, but he’s sincerely living his best life. And that’s horrifying in its own way.” –Craig!
“Now, I’m not just any detective, Sam. I’m a Stylized Exposition Detective. That’s why my tie is hanging loosely from my shirt collar as if to suggest that I’ve been working all day running down tips, even though it’s early in the morning and my tie get-up should therefore be in pristine form!” –Bob Tice
“In most civilized countries, tucking your sleeveless sweater into your pants is grounds for divorce, if not execution by the Fashion Brigade.” –Chaze
“I can’t believe Bil said ‘fr***s’ and ‘kl***s’! It might have been fine in the 1970s, but times have changed! Time to cancel him!” –Ettorre
“It’s the goon’s cauliflower ear that really sells it. ‘He marked me for my sins, forever changing me and saving me from a life of crime. Then he whaled on my ear, just for the fun of it!’” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
“Busty starlet is wearing a patch on her left buttcheek leaking a slow release of cocaine into her bloodstream. Hence the broad smile and why she’s not fallen asleep yet.” –Ukulele Ike
“On the sidewalks of Charterstone, Toby stands transfixed, struck by the realization: Dawn Weston is actually Superman. ‘No, Toby? No,’ says Ian. ‘We’ve talked about this. They’re just glasses.’” –Dan
“Hope isn’t everything, Dustin. You need to feel the lash of the whip.” –Lawyerbob
“The story of this date can serve as the basis of Wilbur’s next ‘I Shouldn’t Be Alive!’ column after he gets back! Is Dawn’s destination for this date somewhere on the other side of Kelrast Curve? But if Dawn can’t see just how good-looking Dirk is, then what’s the point in putting up with his company?” –seismic-2
“It was already evident that Dawn is too submissive in this relationship, no need to literally put her in a dog collar to drive it home.” –Philip
“Welp, that takes care Trixie. Who else’s day can I ruin with a single question? Maybe I’ll amble over to the Thurston house and ask Irma ‘Ugh! How can you be married that drunk loser?!’ That’ll rub her never-changing sham marriage in her face.” –jenna
“The complications that come with dating? Like what? When your significant other doesn’t love ‘Muddy Boots’ quite as much as you do? The boring douchebags of Glenwood have the most conflict-free romances ever seen in fiction. The closest thing this comic has had to relationship problems in years is when Truck sulked for fifteen minutes after spilling coffee in Wanda’s diner.” –jroggs
“I wasted a little time trying to see if I could imagine my mid-twenties son saying ‘Enjoy that empty nester status,’ then realized I couldn’t imagine anybody saying it.” –Rube
“Santa pants, Santa hat but black, sky-blue shirt, corduroy vest, Lime-green and black scarf, [squints] ice skate boots? …is his mom drunk or is the artist drunk?” –astroboy
“Since he’s our tech guy, we make him dress like a nerd. As a joke. He hates it, but who gives a shit, he’s a nerd skeleton.” –ectojazzmage
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