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TOP COMMENT OF THE WEEK HERE WE GOOOOO FOLKS

“I think it’s great how Hagar is getting a piggy-back ride up that ladder — and how jazzed that guy is to give him a piggy-back ride. That kind of loyalty and devotion really shows what great jarl Hagar’s been for his warband.” –ArtOfWargames, on Twitter

WHOA HEY THE OTHER RUNNER UP COMMENTS ARE PRETTY DARN FUNNY TOOOOO

“Yeah, nothing like dried-out, 5,600-year-old linen on the ol’ butthole.” –Pozzo

“So many people overlook the simple cost-cutting benefits you get from having your home overrun by nightmarish monsters. Why buy paper towels when the werewolf in your kitchen is covered with fur and dries off in minutes? Why waste money on a two-hole punch when you’ve got a vampire in your home office? Why spend hundreds on air conditioning when the spine-chilling appearance of a vengeful ghost is just one closing-of-an-ajar-bathroom-mirror-cabinet away?” –jroggs

“Imagine being completely unfamiliar with the strip, and you saw it for the first time today. You’d have questions: Is the mummy the dogs’ owner? Is it Mother Goose? Why does the yellow dog hate his mother/owner/roommate so much? Why can you see the wall through the gaps in the bandages? I mean, even with context this is like a fever dream.” –made of wince

“To paraphrase Freud, ‘Sometimes the large, long barrel of a tank gun drawn at thigh level is just a long barrel of a tank gun drawn at thigh level.’ And ‘Sarge’s bedroom eye is just … I take it back. It’s a penis. The barrel of the gun is a huge phallic image. The whole thing is an overly homoerotic fantasy. There, I said it.’” –Joe Momma

“I, for one, am here for Mark Trail as a man out of time who speaks mainly in tortured retro slang. ‘If the snake is blue, twenty-three skiddoo! If there’s a cobra on your patio, beat feet, daddy-o! If the rattling gets louder, you’d better take a powder!’” –Doctor Moreau

“Oh, you’re using your made-up names. I’m Funky Winkerbean, then.” –Chyron HR

“Really loving the generic NEWS paper that just seems to have pictures and text placed haphazardly across the front page. I guess the publisher realized that their core audience is most used to reading the obituaries section and decided to use that same format for the rest of the paper.” –pugfuggly

“Ha ha, pluggers still read newsprint. That’s the intended joke, right?” –Just John

“Her phone is broken! Then we need to get over to the detention facility ASAP! Without access to AT&T’s nation-wide 5G network — which even works at Guantanamo Bay! — she’ll be bored out of her mind for the next twenty to thirty years! Without access to the Google App Store, she’ll never be able to download Angry Birds and Netflix, to while away the eternal hours before release or death! [Today’s Funky Winkerbean was sponsored by AT&T, the nationwide network, Google, which knows what you’re going to ask, and the year 2020.]” –Voshkod

“Pluggers talk like a Prohibition-era showgirl for some reason.” –TheDiva

“One of these days Pluggers is going to do some sort of comic where the punchline is going to be ‘a plugger’s Discord server runs usenet and IRC’ or ‘a plugger doesn’t need a massive-multiplayer online game as long as they can still telnet to their Mud’ and then I’m going to be very sad.” –vince

“Otis is asking his Dad for help because no-one has burned a CD since well before he was born.” –Rosstifer

“I picture the writer holding a tech dictionary from 2002 that his daughter got for him last year for a quarter at the library book sale, leafing through it and musing, ‘I need a verb here … that looks like one … okay, now for some nouns…’” –Tom T.

“Another person plugger in the tontine must’ve died. The last one still living gets that phone book.” –Joe Blevins

“Obviously Amy divorced him because he’s a real lightweight.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Ah! If I had a dollar for every time I casually reached for the decanter of wine as my wife made a demand and pounded her fist on the table, I’d have… well, I’d be divorced, actually. ” –Skeptical1

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Daddy Daze, 10/16/20

There’s a lot of mysteries about the Daddy Daze daddy and the Daddy Daze baby that keep all of us up at night– does the daddy have a job? Does the baby actually “say” or think the things that the daddy attributes to him, or is he a normal baby and the daddy is merely insane? — but you know who we don’t think a lot about? The Daddy Daze mommy. The backstory as descried by the syndicate is that the daddy is a “single dad who amicably shares custody of little Angus with ex-wife Amy.” But like … the baby is very little, right? Like less-than-a-year-old little, right? They’re divorced and their baby is less than a year old? That seems like a real mess! How amicable can it be, man? Anyway, my point is that “somehow got stuck on a see-saw” is not really a reason you want to have to call your ex, I don’t care how amicable it was when you broke up when she was pregnant.

The Phantom, 10/16/20

Ahh, now that Kadia has rejected her terrorism-tainted mother, the next step in the great Walker master plan is taking shape: bring back their teen son from Tibet and get them married! You don’t maintain a 22-generation superhero bloodline without a little strategic breeding, Kadia seems very imprinted on the Walkers, and Kit’s been in a monastery all this time and is probably pretty horny.

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Pluggers, 10/15/20

Pluggers are lonely. So lonely! Who will talk to pluggers? Well, maybe if they just rifle through this seven-year-old phone book — the last one ever delivered to them — and see if any of the names ring a bell, they’ll find someone who will talk to them. They do this every nine months ago when everything just gets to be too much, and every time fewer and fewer people answer.

Crock, 10/15/20

Look, I’m not saying that I want characters in comic strips to be photorealistic humans. Far from it! That would ruin the fun of comics! I’m just saying if your the design of your one of your characters is an undifferentiated dumpling of flesh, whose protruding lower lip sits immediately above his hairy chest with no obvious jaw between thorax and brainpan, maybe it’s best that you don’t ask the reader to contemplate what the phrase “from the neck up” might mean to such a being.