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Pluggers, 6/10/25

Pluggers already did a version of this bit in 2007, only back then the joke was “When a plugger gives you directions, all the landmarks he uses will be stores that long ago went out of business, because his mental map of the world stopped changing at some point as he aged.” Now it’s “Wouldn’t it be cool if your phone, possibly using some kind of advanced AI, gave you directions using long-closed stores as landmarks so as to better match your mental map of the world, which stopped changing at some point as you aged?” This is, I think you’ll agree, significantly more depressing.

Blondie, 6/10/25

Speaking of old people and technology, I appreciate Blondie’s ongoing mission of educating us on how old people use technology. You ever log into a website with two-factor authentication turned on, and it asks you if you want to receive your access code as a text or a phone call, and you think to yourself, “A text, obviously, who on earth would ever choose phone call, that sounds terrible”? Well, it turns out that the ones choosing “phone call” are the writers and, presumably, the readers of the syndicated newspaper comic strip Blondie.

Mary Worth, 6/10/25

I guess it’s only Tuesday so there’s probably a bit more to come but I do love that Wilbur and Dawn are just speed-running their way to pretending the Belle Episode never happened and pushing all the associated emotions they might have about it deep down inside. Are we going to unpack what “someone like Belle” means in this context? Nope! Are we gonna acknowledge that Belle’s brother was just Tall Wilbur? Absolutely not! La la la everything is fine just fine in Westonworld, just as it always has been, aside for a few minor bumps we don’t think about, ever!

Herb and Jamaal, 6/10/25

“That’s an interesting philosophical take, Herb, and I appreciate it! So, uh, are you going to help me … operate this restaurant that we both own, or are you just going to spend the rest of the day doing this conceptual art project or whatever it is?”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/31/25

Wait, is something happening in Rex Morgan, M.D.? Is something interesting happening in Rex Morgan, M.D.? Wild. Truly wild. Something’s happening. Who would’ve guessed it?

Blondie, 5/31/25

Guys, you’ve both been angling to swing with Ernie and Lily for months now! You think your wives don’t know? They know!

Pluggers, 5/31/25

Sorry, dog-man, it’s actually Saturday! Close, though. So close.

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Blondie, 5/30/25

Here’s a joke for you: a guy with a master’s degree in ancient history and a guy with an MFA in poetry were coworkers once, back in the late ’90s. The punchline is that they were coworkers as office temps doing filing at a professional association for orthodontists. Obviously they chatted to occupy their overeducated brains while putting resumes in alphabetical order, and the guy with the ancient history degree (me) somehow got onto the topic of the Steve Miller song “Take The Money And Run,” and how it’s a crime that in one verse it rhymes “Texas,” “facts is,” “justice,” and “taxes.” The university-trained poet, to be contrary, insisted this was (in a phrase that is burned forever in my brain) “a slant rhyme, like Emily Dickinson would use.” I didn’t buy it then and I don’t buy it now, so sorry, Elmo, it’s a good try but “screens” and “memes” don’t quite rhyme either. Also, are teachers actually showing angry memes to children? I was going to argue this point too, but you know what, a lot of teachers are pretty young, and as an old person, I have decided that any conflicts between Zoomers and Gen Alpha or whatever we’re calling the children now are none of my business. I’m holding the line on the rhyme thing, though.

Mary Worth, 5/30/25

After finally catching Belle in an act of total madness, Wilbur has now decided that she should leave, actually! How is he going to make that happen? Well, he’s not sure about that one. He’s mostly an “ideas guy.” Maybe Dawn can fill in the details.

Family Circus, 5/30/25

I love that we get a good look at the other kids outside, just vibing and enjoying the Jeffy-free lifestyle. Once Jeffy deliberately hid from their sight, this became the best day of their whole week!