“Leroy’s doing an impressive job with shadow puppetry considering he only has four fingers on each hand.” –nescio
“C’mon Ed, why wouldn’t you enjoy shaking babies? You enjoy endangering kids every day on your school bus.” –Guillermo el chiclero
“Not sure if ‘jerky’ here is a poor attempt at replicating how today’s sullen teenagers talk, or if the young lady is actually characterizing Chip as a piece of dried meat cut into a long, thin strip. If it’s the latter, solid burn. I like her.” –jenna
“Gonna choose to believe the colorist simply has no idea what a yarmulke is, so Hi and Lois’s first stumbling attempt at diversity wound up, ‘they know a balding guy.’” –Dan
“I like the fact that Leroy is in genuine pain, and Loretta could absolutely not give two figs about his suffering. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you keep a bad marriage going for 20 years — pure, unadulterated disinterest.” –BigTed
“‘…the one who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven.’ (Luke 12:10) Dennis’s menacing has now reached biblical levels. Menace … or antichrist?” –McCapwell
“I see the Dick Tracy creative team is making a play to take over The Wizard of Id. Sorry, but Id prefers continuous torture to the swift, karmic deaths seen in Neo-Chicago.” –Morgan Wick
“The only thing less funny than a newspaper comic is a newspaper comic inside a newspaper comic. Let’s pray there’s no third layer.” –Lee Sherman
“If I remember correctly, Tommy’s last descent into drug addict hell was caused by him trying to move one modest-sized piece of furniture once. A rejected marriage proposal could kill him.” –Joe Blevins
“When a prof swipes, uh, ‘is inspired by’ a student’s work and gets a publication out of it, it’s only polite to credit the student as a junior co-author. So when Dick and Sam nab Professor Stokes for vampire-murder, I’d like to think that Prof passes some of the credit along to whatever dorky goth kid in his class submitted this as the term project, and arranges for said kid to get the electric chair right next to his own (maybe with only half as much electrical charge though, because, junior co-author.) Fair is fair.” –Shrug
“There is no way a news crew is there to interview Crankshaft about obsolete telephones (come on, not even pluggers still use rotary dials) so I can only assume someone tipped them off that he’s finally going down for his decades of vehicular crimes.” –Tabby Lavalamp
“See? This is what happens when you wait until the night before the project is due to start putting your murder machine together.” –Artist formerly known as Ben
“Would love to know what the soldiers are actually meant to be googling here. ‘Country that looks a bit like a rhino’s head’? ‘Useless posters of unlabeled country outlines’? ‘Complain about training quality to superior officer’?” –Schroduck
“No, you’re thinking of ‘broads.’ Understandable mistake.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women
“I like how Tommy is looking directly at the reader in that last panel. ‘Eh, chicks, ammirite? Let’s get into it in the comments. I hear controversy is the best way to get things trending.’” –pugfuggly
“‘I thought all chicks wanted to get married’: TFW you spend too much time with Mary Worth.” –Ettorre
“Terry Rapson is in Gil’s doghouse because he had the nerve — the goddamn nerve — to use his own initiative and call plays to score more points when his team was only up by one score with three minutes left in the game, while Gil wanted his team to make predictable rushing plays that would force his team to punt and give their opponents plenty of time to equalize. Apparently what Terry ‘didn’t know what he didn’t know’ was that Gil bet on the other team to beat the spread. Hope you learned your lesson, Terry: never get between a corrupt coach and his illicit gambling payoffs.” –jroggs
“Gil is one cruel bastard, forcing this kid to run all those miles while he’s excreting mucous from his pores. It’s a rare dermatological condition informally known as snotty zit syndrome. And it’s contagious. Now who doesn’t know what he doesn’t know? Better stock up on Kleenex, genius.” –made of wince
“Nancy will grudgingly start wearing a mask, but it will be emblazoned with an image of her sneer.” –Pozzo
“Listen, young woman. The Glenwood Motel prides itself on providing the community a location for drinking, illicit hookups, the occasional prostitution ring, and country songs about the same. But we don’t do COVID parties, understand? You’re looking for the Glenn Breeze Motel, down the highway on the left. Please make sure Macklemore covers this in his next hit single.” –pastordan
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