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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/24/20

Wow, ha ha, today’s Snuffy Smith is grim on a number of levels. I’m mostly fixated on the genuine and justified terror Tater feels as that chicken fixates its cold, soulless eyes on him, a cruel smile somehow visible on his beak. Snuffy stole that chicken, to kill and eat, so clearly it needs to strike at its kidnapper’s child and strike hard now if it wants to even the score at all. Anyway, where do you suppose Loweezy is? Is she ever coming back? Would you?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/24/20

Looks like my fake COVID cure prediction was correct! My main complaint here is that this website doesn’t look marvelous at all. It’s just centered black text on a white background! Where’s the elaborate scam backstory? Where are the images? Where are the links? How is this supposed separate any fools from their money? Rene, you’re an artist and a storyteller, for pete’s sake, and I’m very disappointed in you.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/23/20

Well, it looks like Rex Morgan, M.D.’s “Lockdown Stories” isn’t going just involve Michelle tearfully being separated from her husband so she can work the COVID ward, and, uh, Rex gleefully being separated from his family so he can work in the COVID ward; we’re also getting … THE RETURN OF RENE, BABY!

Rene! You know we always want more Rene!

Remember, Rene was introduced as an amiable art teacher/former forger when Woody Wilson was writing the strip, but under current writer Terry Beatty has become a criminal mastermind, with grifts ranging from classic comics fraud to new age scam artistry. You’d think that a global pandemic wouldn’t require the services of this strip’s only actual villain to ramp up the drama, but now that he’s here I’m sure we’re going to learn he’s into some fun stuff. Will it be PPE hoarding? Hawking colloidal silver as a COVID-19 miracle cure? Did he develop the novel coronavirus in a lab specifically to make Buck’s life miserable? Can’t wait to find out!

Six Chix, 8/23/20

Note that the lady in this strip is sipping coffee or perhaps tea from her mug as she enjoys her weekend crossword, probably in the middle of the afternoon, while the dude is walking around holding a glass of wine (who even knows how many he’s had at this point), drunk and belligerent and looking to ruin somebody’s day. It’s dark!

Dennis the Menace, 8/23/20

Did you ever think about how Mr. Wilson, the gruff antagonist in the syndicated newspaper comic strip Dennis the Menace, probably has a pretty depressing life? Well, today’s Dennis the Menace would very much like you to think about it, for some reason!

Beetle Bailey, 8/23/20

Man, if exuberant and energetic displays of joy make you mad, you should probably not work in an ice cream parlor!

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Blondie, 8/12/20

It’s both incredibly sad and entirely predictable that Mr. Dithers, in a moment of madness, gave Dagwood the power to authorize any spending he wanted out of company coffers, and instead of immediately draining every DithCo account dry and disappearing to whatever tropical island nation without an extradition treaty with the US has the best sandwiches, he instead bought a panini press for the breakroom. Truly pathetic.

Mark Trail, 8/12/20

Meanwhile, this Mark Trail rerun is here to cement Mark’s place as the most level-headed man on the comics page. Did Mark get nominated for a major award? He’s grateful not for the glory or recognition, but that his work has touched readers around the world. Is he excited about traveling to New York for the ceremony? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, there are a lot of other great nominees, so he’ll be staying in Lost Forest until he gets word that he won, thanks. Of course, by that time he’ll be trapped at the Trail compound because the only road out has been blocked by beaver-felled trees, but there’s no way he could know that now.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/12/20

Sure, the coronavirus epidemic has killed hundreds of thousands of people and disrupted the world economy in unprecedented ways, but look on the bright side: it’s provided a great excuse for Rex to not have to share a bedroom with his wife!